4 years and 2 kids Later...

I often jokingly ask mothers of older children if they have "recovered" yet from having kids. Not in a physical way, but in the all-encompassing mental way. Eli is now 4 and our baby, Arianna, is now 2. I'm just now feeling somewhat "recovered" from the experience of having kids, yet still ridiculously busy, mentally exhausted, physically exhausted and many times overwhelmed, disorganized and "out of it."

People do this every day, have babies. Some people sail through pregnancy, birth, sleep-deprivation and all that comes with babies with ease. Many others struggle. I struggled. And still do, frankly. It always feels like everyone else has it all together, except me. If you feel that way, then we should hang out. :)

Postpartum depression, postpartum hormone fluctuations, feelings of needing to be there for your newborn baby's every breath are all real and can capture a mom without her knowing it. I'm fortunate that my second pregnancy and birth was much easier, but man, that sleep deprivation is brutal. The grip of the postpartum emotional issues I experienced lifted after having my second child. It was like a veil being lifted that I didn't know was there. It was still hard, but I wasn't pulled down into my emotions as much anymore. I still didn't know what to do all the time, but it didn't feel as if my decision were life or death. Some people put my feelings down as just being a "first-time" mom, but whatever you call it, it was hard emotionally on me- for over 2 years.

And here I am, on the other side of it. I share because I know others struggle too, and even while I had SO MUCH support from professionals and friends, new moms like me, it was still hard. I want any mom to know that if they feel like it's all too hard, amazingly hard, that is because it is! It's hard... I often say I was always told motherhood would be hard, but no one told me it would 1,000 times harder than the hardest thing I ever did! When you see other moms doing things that you think you "should" be able to do, give yourself a break. Text another new mom (in the middle of the night) and commiserate over night feedings, endless laundry, nap-less babies and unending toys. Talking to other new moms is one of the best ways to find someone to identify with in this crazy time in your life, when just getting a few hours sleep is a victory. You are in complete survival mode, but trying to look good and pretending to have it all together on the outside.

The one thing I would say to a new mom is to always give yourself a break. You are doing SO MUCH in just feeding, nurturing and loving that tiny baby. Don't listen to what anything that doesn't sit well with you (If that well-meaning friend tells you to let your child cry and that goes against your gut feel, then don't listen. If that well-meaning family member tells you to nurture you child at your own expense every time and you're about to go absolutely insane if you don't get just a few hours sleep, then don't listen). Don't listen to the "shoulds" in your mind telling you what you think you should be doing, but instead do what you need to do for your and your baby's physical and mental well-being. Let go of all the things you thought you would do once you became a parent and are now not doing. Be present, enjoy the moments and ask for help when you need it(one of the hardest things to do)!!!

I'm definitely not saying I'll keep up with this blog or even organize my house now that I have the tiniest amount of time to myself daily (that is still filled up with chores and appointments and just life). Instead, I'll go where life leads me- my kids are still really little, require a lot of attention and shower me with their cuteness daily. I love my life, my children, my husband and the family we have.

Merry Christmas!
Becky

Merry Christmas!

Eli is now about 7 1/2 weeks old. He's growing so much! His milestones lately are that he can trigger the music on the toys dangling above him on his playmat, he can hold his head up pretty well and he routinely sleeps 5-7 hours at night, much to my relief! :) Christmas was a wonderful day where Eli got to meet the rest of the cousins, aunt and uncles in the family. He handled it all like a champ, being passed around the room, sleeping in everyone's arms.

We have no set routine with little Eli yet, but I try to get out to the Mommy support group weekly with him to meet other moms and babies. Eli's visitors have all told him how adorable and good-tempered his is. He rarely cries and is such a happy baby. I love his smiles and coos- he's started "talking" to me as I talk to him in the morning. It completely melts my heart!

Welcome to the world Baby Eli!

Elijah Timothy Clark Geier entered the world on November 3rd, 2013 at 11:45pm. He weighed 8 lbs 12 oz and was 20 inches long!

Eli is now 2 1/2 weeks old and doing well! He regained his birth weight in 11 days. He is the most mellow baby, not crying for diaper changes, enjoying quiet alert time and just staring around and he even smiles in his sleep! He's been well taken care of already by Aunt Jenny, Aunt Carrie, Aunt Maureen, Grandma Robin, "Grandma" Lynn, Grandpa Clark and our doula, Rachel. He has had so many visitors already, gifts and well-wishes, for which we are very grateful! Thank you everyone!! Baby Eli has been on 3 trips in the car already, for doctor appointments. He loves the car and sleeps soundly. He's been eating, sleeping and growing well- his primary jobs for such a little guy! Here's how he looks today:

4 weeks to go!

I'm now at the 36 week mark of pregnancy. Things are going well; although I'm tired and do a lot of resting, I'm glad that I've overall not had any major issues. I'm getting big, as you'll see in the belly pic, and getting up, sitting down, etc. are all getting challenging. Baby boy is also moving around a lot in there, causing me a few breathless "Oh!"s and some discomfort. I try to tell him that through my belly is not the right way out! :) So far, no indications of impending delivery, and though it feels like there's no room left or that I can't possible stretch anymore, I somehow manage to keep going along. Weekly OB appointments start next week and we'll get some ideas to if this baby is getting ready for arrival at all or staying put for the long haul. :) Below are some pics of the Harry Potter themed nursery, which has yet to have many of the "Harry Potter" elements to it... some HP prints are on order, along with a custom print with baby's name and some HP quote decals are yet to be put up.

7.5 weeks to go!

I am embarking on a new adventure- mommyhood! :) I wanted to create a new blog to talk about the new little boy that we are expecting in a few short weeks! The official due date is October 28th, with different doctors saying anything from October 27th - November 1st. Regardless, sometime around that timeframe, we are expecting a bouncing baby boy!

We are excited and also nervous, happy, overwhelmed, tired, and overjoyed. We don't even have the baby here yet and this has been a roller coaster of ride. It started on our delayed honeymoon to London and Scotland. I was at about 15 weeks. Walking, I was told, was good for me, and not showing yet or anything, I planned to be the healthy, exercising pregnant woman! Haha! After 3-4 days of walking around London, I could barely walk upright. My belly ached, even though it wasn't very big yet. We took a train up to Scotland to Inverness, where I got to mostly rest, and from there up to Wick, Scotland, to visit the area from which my husband's ancestors came. Our two days in Wick turned into four, as I decided that I couldn't go on with the pain I was feeling and if I had been at home in the states, I would have definitely gone to the doctor or hospital. We got an experience we did not expect; we got to see what hospitals are like in Scotland! It was determined that I was having pain from degenerating fibroids, but that baby, who's gender we did not yet know, was perfectly fine. After a few days of rest, I was released and we were able to continue on with our travels to the Isle of Skye, although we sadly ended up missing our time in Edinburgh. The Isle of Skye was fabulous and beautiful, with amazing landscapes and friendly people. We stayed at a B&B and the town had the best food of almost any we'd had on our trip!

After returning home, I still wasn't feeling well and wasn't able to resume normal activity. After a week, I ended up back in the ER at home with similar pain. I was assured that baby was fine, and they hoped the pain would subside soon. And, yes, finally it did! I am happy to say the remainder of the pregnancy has been free of Emergency Room visits. I have had to change my expectations of what I can do on a daily basis, however, and put my feet up and rest for the last 3 or so months, a lot more than I thought or intended. With a lot of help from my wonderful husband, family and friends, I have gotten my nursery and baby gifts all unpacked and put away, ready for the day that our baby boy arrives.

At 7.5 weeks to go, I am getting more and more excited to see what he will look like and be like and how we will handle this whole new adventure!

~Becky